I wish you enough

I recently attended an Amway conference for the first time in almost two years and they played this song.  I wept!  I will share that the Amway business I started in 1999 has had more of an impact on my life than any other educational investment I've made.  To stop and realize what a positive environment of encouragement and development can do for your attitude is incredible.  

As my pastor put it so very well...we need knowledge and faith.  How are you developing these two areas of your life?  

Knowing that we need to have a reason to get up each day and choose to move forward sometimes through valleys and occasionally we are on mountain tops but either way it is our attitude that determines majority of our outcomes.  As the song states we need to persist and do the next right thing anyways...

As I reflected upon why I started in Amway and why I am willing to build again the stark truth of wanting to have the money enough to free up my time to serve where I feel compelled to serve is a great goal.  God will be glorified as I've come to terms with my definiteness of purpose and will build it anyway!

Investing my life in helping others find their God given vision come to fruition will be a life well spent.  I pray you choose to develop your faith and knowledge and as for life's ups and downs...

"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."

I so agree with this quote and have said several final good-byes over the years, each time thanking God for my time with that person and their impact on my life.   As they say...it takes a minute to find a special person. An hour to appreciate them. A day to love them. And an entire life to forget them.

Reflecting upon who we allow in our lives

Our Moms' were right!  We do become who we hang out with.

Over and over again this truism plays out in life.  From our teenage years, the discussions we had with our parents regarding our friends to our adult lives with expanding networks of people we are introduced to we have to constantly be aware of the people we are spending time with.  

Depending on our experiences as young children we are often imprinted with habits that are positive or negative.  The hangups we have developed from our families circumstances soon become a crossroads as adults.  I believe we all come to a point where the rose coloured glasses come off and we choose to accept responsibility for our lives or put the glasses back on quick and pretend we didn't see a thing. 

I have made both choices at different times and can relate with the Israelites taking 40 years to do an 11 day journey through the wilderness.  Accepting responsibility for our lives, not blaming our parents and choosing to do the hard work of growing our knowledge in the areas of emotional fitness will start to direct our lives on the path fulfillment.

One of the tremendous areas of my journey has been learning to about co-dependency and what that looks like.  I've had to set some serious boundaries with the people I choose to be part of my daily life.  Loving everyone is vital but allowing them time and space in our lives has to be a choice based upon mutual edification.

"Can I help you, without hurting me? Can we share our lives, without me giving up mine? When do you truly need my help? When do I need to let go, and let you and God handle it? Finding the balance between ‘enough’ and ‘too much’ in relationships is a constant challenge and isn’t easy. Especially when your role tends to be, ‘all things, at all times, to all people’, and theirs is, ‘I’m helpless, you owe me, take care of me’; when you have no ‘no’ and they have no ‘yes’. Needing to be needed by needy people who always want someone to take care of them puts the needy person in the driver’s seat"  Today's Word by Bob Gass

We can learn from each person that crosses our path, even if just for a moment if we are aware of the interaction that happens.  Everyone has something to teach.  

"Well-adjusted people find the right balance between protecting their personal space, and allowing others to infiltrate, manipulate and dominate them. They know how to say yes to what’s healthy and no to what’s not." Today's Word by Bob Gass

Who are the 5 people closest to you?  Do they have the fruit on the tree?  Would you like your lives to reflect theirs?  Just a few questions to think about who you are allowing to influence your life.  I'm off to hangout with some great positive leaders....

How many of us have learned to look inwardly with courage?

The art of examination is a beautiful thing.  So many of us can live such incredibly busy lives that we do not take the time to pause and reflect upon our daily choices but rather wake up one day and wonder how we got to the destination we did.  

"We can only be used by God after we allow Him to show us the deep, hidden areas of our own character. It is astounding how ignorant we are about ourselves! We don’t even recognize the envy, laziness, or pride within us when we see it. 

We have to get rid of the idea that we understand ourselves. That is always the last bit of pride to go. The only One who understands us is God. The greatest curse in our spiritual life is pride.

As you journey with God, the only thing He intends to be clear is the way He deals with your soul. The sorrows and difficulties in the lives of others will be absolutely confusing to you. We think we understand another person’s struggle until God reveals the same shortcomings in our lives. There are vast areas of stubbornness and ignorance the Holy Spirit has to reveal in each of us, but it can only be done when Jesus gets us alone. Are we alone with Him now? Or are we more concerned with our own ideas, friendships, and cares for our bodies? Jesus cannot teach us anything until we quiet all our intellectual questions and get alone with Him." My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

Choosing to make a habit of getting alone with God and evaluating our daily lives will allow us to ask a few critical questions like; Why am I doing this? How do I feel about my choices and their outcomes?  Are my results lining up with my goals?  What is God saying to me?

I read Becky Tirabassi's book Let Prayer Change Your Life in 1999 and I never forgot the concept of a daily appointment time with God.  Becky talks about the opportunity to sit down with a world renown coach and how we would do anything for an hour of their time and here we have the ability to spend time with God any time we choose.  The amazing part of a quiet time with God that involves Bible reading and journalling is that after a year you've got a record of your progress and God's faithfulness. You will see how He answers prayers.

I have been journalling for years and it has helped me immensely.  Now I am doing a daily score card of the different areas I'm focusing on which allows me to write a few comments about how I feel at the end of the day.  If we truly want God to lead our lives then we have to consciously give him the reins.  This happens once we are saved, spirit led, sanctified, submissive and suffering for our Saviour.  

The remarkable thing about fearing God is that when you fear God you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God you fear everything else. “Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord”;…  The Highest Good—The Pilgrim’s Song Book, 537 L

Each new day is a fresh start

Seven days in...the goals are set...life happens...choices are made.  Learning about God's mercies being new each day leads to healthy self-care and a thankful heart.  

"God engineers circumstances to see what we will do. Will we be the children of our Father in heaven, or will we go back again to the meaner, common-sense attitude? Will we stake all and stand true to Him? “Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.” The crown of life means I shall see that my Lord has got the victory after all, even in me."  The Highest Good—The Pilgrim’s Song Book, 530 L

Already this week I see progress, surprises and resulting actions.  As each day presents it new set of circumstances it is in the reflection of these choices that the daily plan is written.  So many of the great leaders I've had the privilege of studying have taught me the simple art of reflection.  Taking 10 minutes at the end of the day to assess how my time was spent allows me to journal and track my progress.

Seeing how I plan my priorities and then other people come along with their set of circumstances and affect my plan, if I so choose.  Being flexible is important.  Laser focus is important.  Which is more important?

Being open and available to God interrupting my daily plans has brought incredible Joy as the bottom line is who are we here to serve, ourselves or Jesus?  

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15

In the past I've struggled with allowing people to steal my time in an attempt to being open and available.  The balance lies in discerning whether the people and circumstances that are presenting themselves are an opportunity to serve God or to derail our plans.  

Various time management expert use a chart similar to this one to help us understand how to make choices.  We truly cannot manage time but rather it is ourselves we learn to manage.

At the end of the day if we take the time to review where we've spent those precious moments we've been give we will determine which quadrants we allowing our deposits of time to be invested in.  Choosing wisely to take care of important and not urgent items as our primary focus will ensure progress towards our achieving our goals.

God has brought incredible people into my life through business associations, church affiliations, family and the internet.  "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 It has been the most amazing experience to see just how He has orchestrated my particular set of circumstances.  The lessons I've learned and the phenomenal joy I've beheld by allowing Him to intersect my life with different people is more than I can explain.  I will continue to work out my salvation through managing myself, always at the ready to be flexible enough to receive a Godly interruption.

It’s one thing to hear how God works based on somebody else’s experience, it’s another to see it first hand when you’re wondering, ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ or asking, ‘If God’s really there, why am I here?’ Why?

Purpose vs Goals

The goals we set should help us to fulfill our purpose.  However, our goals are for us.  Our purpose is emotional, not logical and is not about us.  It is about others and mankind.  

As I was setting my goals for this year I reread some of my earlier blog posts, specifically where I was at in my thinking at the start of the previous years.  What I found amazing was that when I read My Heroes post, it was when I read about my kids that once again the tears flowed.

I wanted to make a difference so that when I leave this planet my legacy will be visible in the lives of my children and future generations of servant leaders.  My goal was to become the best Mom, wife and business women I could be.  I am a good Mom.  My 22 year marriage failed and I am winning as a business woman.  Throughout the success and failures of my life I have not loss track of my purpose.  I have not always waited for God's timing and instead charged full steam ahead on my own thoughts/plans and this did not bode well. 

Now I am learning to wait on the Lord, his timing is perfect. How do you do that? By valuing God’s will more than my own and trusting in His timing which is revealed through the peace that passes all understanding.  

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ 

in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.(Proverbs 3:5)

God's timing involves our character development.  We don't always understand waiting once we have a vision or defined a set of goals but He is more interested in our character development than our comfort.  Therefore, we must seek to be able to live out the character qualities of Christ as described in Scripture: 

 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23)

These principles keep our actions within boundaries; honesty, integrity, the golden rule, helping others. I was put here to lead as many people as possible to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ by using the gifts and talents I've received from God for His glory.

Setting purpose driven goals requires having the end in sight.  What is your purpose?  Do your goals line up with the bigger picture?  Have your developed the principles necessary to achieve your ultimate purpose?  Your purpose is what keeps you alive and the sparkle in your eye.

We will find a vehicle that will be used to accomplish our purpose. The vehicle may be a job, business or cause where you volunteer.  Regardless of your vehicle it will involve people and this is where you make eternal deposits.  Your God given purpose will affect others.

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 
(Matthew 6:19-20)

Have you found the vehicle to accomplish your goals?  A purpose gives you meaning and you will get passionate and enthusiastic enough to complete your purpose once you find the vehicle to get there.  Passion is the multiplier of your efforts, if you do not have confidence in your vehicle you will not get passionate about driving it.

As this first week of the new year is underway I pray we are focusing on new goals and character development that lead to the fulfillment of our purpose here on earth.  

Who am I pleasing?

Have you ever struggled with people pleasing?  Do you wonder why you do the things you do when you really want to do make different choices?  Have you felt out of control?

I've learned a lot about codependency and people pleasing over the past few years.  It has been quite the journey to unravel my own motivations, hurts, hangups and habits.  We can see ourselves, especially as Christians as motivated to server others when in fact the core reason we do things for others is for their approval.  

Divorce is one of life's biggest rejections and drove me to my knees in search of 'who am I living for', the love of a man, my children, family, friends, team mates, business leaders, clients or myself.  There is real danger in the swinging the pendulum so far after being rejected, to living for oneself.  My quest has been to learn healthy self care while remaining focused upon fulfilling the purpose for which I was created. 

‘Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God’ (2 Corinthians 3:5 NKJV

Through programs like Celebrate Recovery, Divorce Care and great Bible teaching I have come to the point in my life where I've chosen to sell out to the one and only God that so loved me that he sent his own son into the world so that I may have eternal life.  My faith has been an integral part of my life since the age of 13.  However I can tell you that it has taken my to the age of 50 to completely surrender.  It took the Israelites 40 years to make the 11 day journey out of the wilderness and it took me 37!

I cannot begin to express the freedom that I feel in knowing who I am in Christ.  The joy of the Lord is my strength.  I choose to live each day living out His will for my life, slowly discovering how He speaks and directs my steps.  Spending time in God's word, listening to great messages from Bible teachers and submitting to accountability within the local church and a support team keeps my life moving in the right direction.

To understand the difference between submission and selfishness you must ponder these words: ‘So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain’ (Ezekiel 33:31 NKJV)

My life's goal is to hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant" which can only happen when I live to please God first and foremost, by the example Jesus set. "and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." Luke 3:22  

I am a grateful follower of Jesus Christ.

Goals, Plans and Peace

It's the new year, the second day, so how about all those plans for a new schedule?  Thankfully, we serve a gracious God that has taught me a lot about mercy.  As I begin moving towards my new goals I realize there has to be flexibility and grace in order to have peace and progress.  I have set my goals and I have written my plan.  Now to execute with peace.

I have three main objectives for this year; to become fit physically, get out of debt and find my ministry work.  The physical part involves eating well and of course finally making exercise part of my daily routine.  It really is simple...all diet plans aside, no miracle cure, no quick fixes as it has taken me a long time to get to my current physical condition.  I understand it will take time to reach my vision of fitness. So eat less and move more is my mantra.

The yoke of debt really is a stronghold that can kill you!  It has been a very long journey to get where I am today financially and I have made some great choices and some very poor choices.  One of the most common mistakes of a single Mom is too want to provide your kids with a lifestyle to which they were accustomed to.  This is nearly impossible after a divorce and my attempt to do so has cost me dearly.  I have also experienced immeasurable providence from God and we have all survived, all the wiser.  Now it is time to have my finances line up with the word of God; "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law."Romans 13:8.

My third goal is to find my next ministry work. I have had the honour and privilege of serving in several different congregations over the years and volunteered with various organizations. My gifting lies in the areas of hospitality, teaching, and encouragement. With these strengths I've been blessed to help out with church coffee programs, taught three year olds to adults and led numerous Bible studies. As I reflect, three major items come to mind; walking alongside a teenager as he chose to get his life in order (this is a great story that will someday be a movie!), coaching new business owners as the embark on starting their own business, and women's small groups.

My Bible reading for today included a passage from Luke and what struck me with the Christmas Season just ending were the words 'peace among those with whom he is pleased!' that sums up my goals for not only this year but my life!

10And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.12And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

14"Glory to God in the highest,

and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!" Luke 2:10-14

2013...the end of an era and the beginning of the next chapter

This is the year I put into practice all the wonderful knowledge my dear God has bestowed upon me. I've often thought (as Joyce Meyer puts it) that "we are equipped beyond our level of obedience". This has been true in my life.

As I look at the bookshelves full of wonderful materials, the google reader full of subscriptions to great blogs and the volumes of audios CDs I own....the question is does my life reflect these great concepts.  As I've entered a new relationship this past year I've become acutely aware of something my children taught me.  "Not everything is a lesson opportunity Mom" is something I heard them say regularly.

Through the amazing people and programs God has brought into my life I've come to know myself well.  I know the good, the bad and the ugly!  One of my gifts is teaching so each new lesson I learn I want to share with those I love. One of the best revelations for me in 2012 was that I can intercede through prayer for those people instead.  This is a vital part of caring for people.  I believe that when the 'student is ready, the teacher will appear' so rather than always sharing my new insights with people, not knowing if they are ready to hear, I'll equip myself and have the answers ready when they do ask.  Spreading seeds of hope via blogging and social media is a great way to expel these new thoughts as I own them.

I also know who's I am.  I was on a quest in 2012 to understand what a surrendered life looked like.  I found this to be one of the most difficult of all questions to answer.  How do we practically live out our faith in a world that is bent on self actualization?

Woe to those who go to great depths

    to hide their plans from the Lord,

who do their work in darkness and think,

    “Who sees us? Who will know?”

¹⁶ 

You turn things upside down,

    as if the potter were thought to be like the clay!

Shall what is formed say to the one who formed it,

    “You did not make me”?

Can the pot say to the potter,

    “You know nothing”? Isaiah 29:15-16

I have voluntarily put myself back on the Potter's wheel daily last year to try to understand how to incorporate God in every area of my life.  I know the messes I can make when I'm leading and truly want to become all that He intended me to be because His plan is so much better than anything I could come up with!

I started reading My Utmost for His Highest Devotional last year and enjoyed the challenges it presented.  Today's message sums it up best for me:

1. My Utmost for His Highest. “. . . my earnest expectation and hope that in nothing I shall be ashamed . . . .” We will all feel very much ashamed if we do not yield to Jesus the areas of our lives He has asked us to yield to Him. It’s as if Paul were saying, “My determined purpose is to be my utmost for His highest— my best for His glory.” To reach that level of determination is a matter of the will, not of debate or of reasoning. It is absolute and irrevocable surrender of the will at that point. An undue amount of thought and consideration for ourselves is what keeps us from making that decision, although we cover it up with the pretense that it is others we are considering. When we think seriously about what it will cost others if we obey the call of Jesus, we tell God He doesn’t know what our obedience will mean. Keep to the point— He does know. Shut out every other thought and keep yourself before God in this one thing only— my utmost for His highest. I am determined to be absolutely and entirely for Him and Him alone.
2. My Unstoppable Determination for His Holiness. “Whether it means life or death-it makes no difference!” (see Philippians 1:21). Paul was determined that nothing would stop him from doing exactly what God wanted. But before we choose to follow God’s will, a crisis must develop in our lives. This happens because we tend to be unresponsive to God’s gentler nudges. He brings us to the place where He asks us to be our utmost for Him and we begin to debate. He then providentially produces a crisis where we have to decide— for or against. That moment becomes a great crossroads in our lives. If a crisis has come to you on any front, surrender your will to Jesus absolutely and irrevocably.

The crisis is over, a 10 year journey of separation, divorce, going back to work full time from consulting part-time, multiple moves including major scaling down, launching a new business, raising 5 teenagers and encouraging them to pursue God's will for their lives, welcoming three new son-in-laws and a grand baby into the family!  I'm exhausted just writing that list :-)!

Most of all God has been faithfully providing for and guiding me and my family each step of the way.  I am so extremely excited about this new year as I walk out the knowledge God has given me and allow Him to develop the discipline I need to carry my responsibilities to fruition.  Prayerfully, I will intercede for those I love and ask for the wisdom necessary to lead where He places me.