Saturday, January 19, 2013

Reflecting upon who we allow in our lives

Our Moms' were right!  We do become who we hang out with.

Over and over again this truism plays out in life.  From our teenage years, the discussions we had with our parents regarding our friends to our adult lives with expanding networks of people we are introduced to we have to constantly be aware of the people we are spending time with.  

Depending on our experiences as young children we are often imprinted with habits that are positive or negative.  The hangups we have developed from our families circumstances soon become a crossroads as adults.  I believe we all come to a point where the rose coloured glasses come off and we choose to accept responsibility for our lives or put the glasses back on quick and pretend we didn't see a thing. 

I have made both choices at different times and can relate with the Israelites taking 40 years to do an 11 day journey through the wilderness.  Accepting responsibility for our lives, not blaming our parents and choosing to do the hard work of growing our knowledge in the areas of emotional fitness will start to direct our lives on the path fulfillment.

One of the tremendous areas of my journey has been learning to about co-dependency and what that looks like.  I've had to set some serious boundaries with the people I choose to be part of my daily life.  Loving everyone is vital but allowing them time and space in our lives has to be a choice based upon mutual edification.

"Can I help you, without hurting me? Can we share our lives, without me giving up mine? When do you truly need my help? When do I need to let go, and let you and God handle it? Finding the balance between ‘enough’ and ‘too much’ in relationships is a constant challenge and isn’t easy. Especially when your role tends to be, ‘all things, at all times, to all people’, and theirs is, ‘I’m helpless, you owe me, take care of me’; when you have no ‘no’ and they have no ‘yes’. Needing to be needed by needy people who always want someone to take care of them puts the needy person in the driver’s seat"  Today's Word by Bob Gass

We can learn from each person that crosses our path, even if just for a moment if we are aware of the interaction that happens.  Everyone has something to teach.  

"Well-adjusted people find the right balance between protecting their personal space, and allowing others to infiltrate, manipulate and dominate them. They know how to say yes to what’s healthy and no to what’s not." Today's Word by Bob Gass

Who are the 5 people closest to you?  Do they have the fruit on the tree?  Would you like your lives to reflect theirs?  Just a few questions to think about who you are allowing to influence your life.  I'm off to hangout with some great positive leaders....






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