Who am I pleasing?

Have you ever struggled with people pleasing?  Do you wonder why you do the things you do when you really want to do make different choices?  Have you felt out of control?

I've learned a lot about codependency and people pleasing over the past few years.  It has been quite the journey to unravel my own motivations, hurts, hangups and habits.  We can see ourselves, especially as Christians as motivated to server others when in fact the core reason we do things for others is for their approval.  

Divorce is one of life's biggest rejections and drove me to my knees in search of 'who am I living for', the love of a man, my children, family, friends, team mates, business leaders, clients or myself.  There is real danger in the swinging the pendulum so far after being rejected, to living for oneself.  My quest has been to learn healthy self care while remaining focused upon fulfilling the purpose for which I was created. 

‘Not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves, but our sufficiency is from God’ (2 Corinthians 3:5 NKJV

Through programs like Celebrate Recovery, Divorce Care and great Bible teaching I have come to the point in my life where I've chosen to sell out to the one and only God that so loved me that he sent his own son into the world so that I may have eternal life.  My faith has been an integral part of my life since the age of 13.  However I can tell you that it has taken my to the age of 50 to completely surrender.  It took the Israelites 40 years to make the 11 day journey out of the wilderness and it took me 37!

I cannot begin to express the freedom that I feel in knowing who I am in Christ.  The joy of the Lord is my strength.  I choose to live each day living out His will for my life, slowly discovering how He speaks and directs my steps.  Spending time in God's word, listening to great messages from Bible teachers and submitting to accountability within the local church and a support team keeps my life moving in the right direction.

To understand the difference between submission and selfishness you must ponder these words: ‘So they come to you as people do, they sit before you as My people, and they hear your words, but they do not do them; for with their mouth they show much love, but their hearts pursue their own gain’ (Ezekiel 33:31 NKJV)

My life's goal is to hear the words "Well done good and faithful servant" which can only happen when I live to please God first and foremost, by the example Jesus set. "and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form, like a dove; and a voice came from heaven, "You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased." Luke 3:22  

I am a grateful follower of Jesus Christ.