The Place of Help - Recharging and Reflecting

George Bernard Shaw wrote: ‘Life is no brief candle to me. It is a sort of splendid torch which I get to hold for a moment, and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before turning it over to future generations.’

Our lives have a ripple effect and as I swam in the Caribbean sea this past week I found myself pausing to ponder many things at this mid-point in my life.

Being on vacation at a very large beautiful resort and traveling with a group of 20 people allows plenty of time for interaction with others.  I also chose to spend a lot of time reflecting while I was relaxing and recharging.  


My nephew's wedding brought his family and friends to a gorgeous resort.  It was a time to share memories about him and his new wife.  From my perspective he was the first grandchild in our family and the day he was born was the one and only time I ever got sent home from work; I was too distracted to focus on work.

He was the first infant I held, the first diapers I changed and definitely the first one to spit up on me (too many times to count)!  I stood as his God parent when he was baptized and spent a lot of weekends with him during the first few years of his life.  He came to me at the age of 8 and asked me to 'teach him how to program a computer.

Our mutual interest in computers has kept us connected over the years to the point that we now work together full time.  I remember when he made his first website....he was so very proud and probably about 12...we won't discuss the content!  I used to be his his tech support as he was learning how to build computers and now he is mine.

Life is funny like that, this vacation was compliments of my children and for the first time in over 25 years I feel well rested!  The forced time away could not have come at a better time.  Recharging my batteries for the next chapter of my life and causing me to reflect on the incredible journey thus far was wonderful.  

I was asking myself questions like:

"Am I getting nobler, better, more helpful, more humble, as I get older? Am I exhibiting the life that men take knowledge of as having been with Jesus, or am I getting more self-assertive, more deliberately determined to have my own way? It is a great thing to tell yourself the truth." The Place of Help

Watching so many people at the resort interact; families, singles, young and older, staff, customers and locals....How do people see me was my question?  Each interaction could be our last, what do we want to be remembered for and how can we make a difference in brief encounters.  I became a great aunt for the first time on this trip and saw an opportunity to get to know my new niece and nephew.

I got a little overwhelmed at one point realizing that life is so very full and our family is obviously going to continue to get larger so how do I make the most of each moment. How can I best help each new person that I meet.  I was constantly in amazement of the beauty surrounding me and how creative God is.  My relational questions drove me to my knees as I searched God for answers.

Awe is the condition of a man’s spirit realizing Who God is and what He has done for him personally. Our Lord emphasizes the attitude of a child; no attitude can express such solemn awe and familiarity as that of a child.  Not Knowing Whither, 882 L

My place of help...is in reflecting on what God has done for me and my family, and as I remain childlike in my faith He will provide me the opportunities to love on new people and the grace to be in relationship with an ever growing family.  
I am blessed and thankful and wanted to share a devotional that I read while I was away about people and relationships.  

“But we all…are changed…by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 KJV 
Prayer, Not Pressure, Changes People

Jesus asked the question, ‘Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?’ (Matthew 7:3 NIV). Expecting more out of people than they’re able to give will hurt your relationships, not help them. People need the freedom to be who they are. That doesn’t mean they don’t need or want to change. But nobody appreciates being given the message, even subtly, that they must change in order to be loved and accepted. We’re more likely to change for those who are willing to accept us with our shortcomings, than for those who demand we live by their rules. One thing is certain: God won’t change the people we’re trying to change until we adopt a ‘hands off’ policy. We must get out of His way and let Him work! Even when we think we’re hiding our disapproval, people still feel it. It’s in our voice and body language. Prayer is the greatest agent for change, not pressure. If we truly love people we’ll pray for them and allow God to work on them His way, on His schedule, and for His glory. Many of those who irritate us are simply being themselves; their personality just doesn’t mesh with ours. Sometimes we want them to change when we need to change. Often the things we require in other people are already available for us to enjoy, if we’ll just stop judging them. For change to be lasting, it must come from the inside out. And only the Spirit of God can bring that kind of change.

Reflecting upon who we allow in our lives

Our Moms' were right!  We do become who we hang out with.

Over and over again this truism plays out in life.  From our teenage years, the discussions we had with our parents regarding our friends to our adult lives with expanding networks of people we are introduced to we have to constantly be aware of the people we are spending time with.  

Depending on our experiences as young children we are often imprinted with habits that are positive or negative.  The hangups we have developed from our families circumstances soon become a crossroads as adults.  I believe we all come to a point where the rose coloured glasses come off and we choose to accept responsibility for our lives or put the glasses back on quick and pretend we didn't see a thing. 

I have made both choices at different times and can relate with the Israelites taking 40 years to do an 11 day journey through the wilderness.  Accepting responsibility for our lives, not blaming our parents and choosing to do the hard work of growing our knowledge in the areas of emotional fitness will start to direct our lives on the path fulfillment.

One of the tremendous areas of my journey has been learning to about co-dependency and what that looks like.  I've had to set some serious boundaries with the people I choose to be part of my daily life.  Loving everyone is vital but allowing them time and space in our lives has to be a choice based upon mutual edification.

"Can I help you, without hurting me? Can we share our lives, without me giving up mine? When do you truly need my help? When do I need to let go, and let you and God handle it? Finding the balance between ‘enough’ and ‘too much’ in relationships is a constant challenge and isn’t easy. Especially when your role tends to be, ‘all things, at all times, to all people’, and theirs is, ‘I’m helpless, you owe me, take care of me’; when you have no ‘no’ and they have no ‘yes’. Needing to be needed by needy people who always want someone to take care of them puts the needy person in the driver’s seat"  Today's Word by Bob Gass

We can learn from each person that crosses our path, even if just for a moment if we are aware of the interaction that happens.  Everyone has something to teach.  

"Well-adjusted people find the right balance between protecting their personal space, and allowing others to infiltrate, manipulate and dominate them. They know how to say yes to what’s healthy and no to what’s not." Today's Word by Bob Gass

Who are the 5 people closest to you?  Do they have the fruit on the tree?  Would you like your lives to reflect theirs?  Just a few questions to think about who you are allowing to influence your life.  I'm off to hangout with some great positive leaders....

I Believe....

I Believe...That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

I Believe...That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I Believe...That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...That hereoes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down,... will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,... but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe..That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...That no mtter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could chane your life forever.

I Believe...Two people can look at the exact same thing...and see somthing different.

I Believe...That life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...That when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you-- you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.

I Believe...That the happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything.

Thank You Becky Yantzi...for sharing