Honouring my Parents

The day comes, not of our choosing, when major life changes occur.  I spent last evening at home with my parents knowing that today my Mom was being admitted to a nursing home. Alzheimer's has taken it's toll on her health and his too.  Waking this morning to watch my Dad try to keep their normal routine while his heart was breaking, to know this was the last time he would wake beside his wife of 59 years!

A book of pictures about our family my daughter made was one of the few items that went with Mom today.

I've had occasion this past year to take Mom out to give my Dad a break and spend one on one time with her.   One particular day she was in a foul mood, treating my Dad miserably.  As I was helping her get of the car it dawned on me....how many times was I a miserable teenager in a terrible mood and she calmly encouraged me to see things from a different perspective.  It was my turn!

My parents, like all parents, are not perfect and we all come away with some peculiar family baggage to decide to continue to carry or to unpack, unfold and put where it belongs, in our past.  I choose to relish in the many great things my parents have taught me that are pillars of my character.

They took me to church, taught me that family is important and to work hard!  I had a few moments with my Mom this morning to tell her how much I value her and the sayings that have served me so very well.  I told her as I look at my children and know I too will have many grandchildren, I am so extremely thankful for the example she set and I will continue to quote her.

"This too shall pass" is one phrase that not only got me through natural labour and delivery but through each challenging phase of raising children.  My mother helped me become resourceful by continually saying "where there is a will, there is a way".  This has spurred me on both personally and professionally.  She taught me that "anything worth doing is worth doing well"!

She not only taught me these things she lived them out before my eyes.

As I watched my Dad pause this morning and pray before he went to kiss her goodbye, I thanked God for his commitment to serving her during these last few very difficult months and years.  He became her nurse and did things he never dreamt he would because he stood before God 59 years ago and said 'for better or worse'.  This has definitely not been the best of times for either of them but I will tell you I saw glimpses of tenderness and affection between them as the disease progressed that melted my heart.

I remember my last visit with my Mom's Dad in their home in Corner Brook, NF when he said to me (with my grandmother's health failing while she was in the hospital) that he had a new question to add to his list for the Skipper (how he affectionately referred to God); that after all these years it made no sense for him to live a part from his wife of over 65 years.

As the disease progresses and my Mom's memory fails her, her God has not.  I see her expressing her faith more openly than ever before.  She quoted scripture this morning at breakfast and I was reminded of both her and my grandmother before her as she said their 'grace' before we ate.  Knowing that God loves both my parents even more than I do, I know who will be taking care of both of them and sustaining them during this new transition.

Thank you Lord for Godly grandparents and parents that understand commitment to your word and through their faith and dependence upon you have lived out the stages of life well.