Sunday, October 18, 2009

Confidence - Believing in yourself

As a parent of five incredible kid-adults I am reminded regularly how tough it is being a teenager. In the past few weeks I've witnessed my oldest daughter share her testimony during her baptism, her and her husband purchase their first house, my son's soccer team loose in the final game and my other son's volleyball team win an important tournament. All those events caused me to watch and listen to the people around each arena.

Watching teenage boys participate in their favourite sports and interacting with other parents is a privilege. While neither are the stars of their teams they both contribute their best. They set the example of good sportsmanship and cheer on their teammates. The soccer team has struggled with a few players lack of self-control to the detriment of the entire teams' performance and yet a few boys kept encouraging them towards a better attitude. The volleyball team on the other hand, has such camaraderie that the entire bench stood together, arms around each others necks cheering on the starters!

My daughter and son-in-law have walked out their first two years of marriage very well and grown together. Spending a weekend with them, observing them leading Jr. High youth at their church (and yes I joined in and played dodge ball) it struck me how mature they are and what great examples they set. They purchased their first home, with confidence. She shared some of her expectations, struggles, and victory in front of her new church family and showed how real she is. I am very thankful for her authenticity and commitment to personal growth.

I am reflective of these events because we had a sermon today on parent/teenager relationships and on both sides of the equation it was about love, respect and responsibility. As we strive to raise children to become positive, contributing members of society, we must first look at the example we set and be real enough to admit that we have dreams, struggles, and victories too! We are put in families/communities to help each other learn about ourselves and become who we are meant to be.

Witnessing my eldest daughter's baptism reminded me that all the driving, cheering at sporting events, discussions and late nights were worth every bit of effort and the rewards are eternal!

Enjoy this video:

Friday, October 9, 2009

God's Chisel « Videos « The Skit Guys

When God chisels the dead weight out of our lives it can be very painful. In one of their most requested skits, Tommy and Eddie give a very creative look at a typical believer having to go through the process of discipline.

Click here to see the video - God's Chisel by The Skit Guys

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Relationships: Does True Love Exist?

An online devotional by ACTS International

"A new command I [Jesus] give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another."1

A Daily Encounter reader asks, "Does true love exist? I have had three broken relationships. Each one made big promises he never kept. I have tried healing myself by reading some inspirational articles, but nothing worked. I always ask God, 'Why has all this happened to me when I was true to them?' Is there no one made for me to give me love? I feel my life is full of regrets. Please tell me what I need to do to heal myself?"

The number one issue Encounter readers write to me about is poor relationships. The fact is that loving relationships—for which we were created—are vital for healthy and meaningful living. Without such relationships we limp along in the shadows of life eking out a lonely, empty and hollow existence—and very likely will die before our time.

True love does exist but it is a fruit of personal growth, maturity and wholeness—emotional and spiritual—for only to the degree that we are made whole will our attitudes, our behavior, our actions, and our relationships be wholesome.

Speaking personally, I had a lot of emotional issues from my childhood that I had to acknowledge and resolve before I found the love of my life. That took a deep commitment not only to God, seeking his help, but also for getting the counseling help I needed to overcome my personal issues and deficiencies.

Unfortunately, some Christians are expecting God to bring the "right" person into their life. It doesn't work this way. If we want to be attracted to the "right" person, we need to be the "right" person. Only healthy people are attracted to healthy people. Actually, if we are truly honest with ourselves, we can learn a lot about ourselves by looking at our significant other relationships as we are as healthy or as sick as the people we are attracted to.

In earlier years why was I attracted to ladies who were afraid to love? It was because I was unconsciously afraid to love. This was because I had felt rejected as a child and was unconsciously afraid of being hurt again. To overcome my fear I needed to acknowledge it and get all the counseling help I needed to overcome. Was it easy? No, at times it was extremely difficult but I knew that unless I overcame my fear of love, I would be running from love the rest of my life. I acknowledged my need when my pain was greater than my fear.

So, like the young lady who asked if true love existed, if you are struggling with poor or impaired relationships, start by asking God to confront you with the truth about you and what it is in you that is causing you to be attracted to bad relationships? Without confronting this truth, you may be floundering in painful relationships for the rest of your life. As Jesus also pointed out, only the truth sets people free.

Then ask God to lead you to the help you need to guide you through the healing and recovery process. Unfortunately, in many parts of the world it can be extremely difficult to find qualified counseling help. However, there is some free online lay counseling that can be helpful. For counseling resources see http://www.actsweb.org/counseling_resources.php.

Suggested prayer: "Dear God, please help me to see that my poor relationships are your wakeup call to awaken me to the fact that there are unresolved relational issues in my life. Please help me to see what these issues are and help me to find the help I need for healing and recovery. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Gratefully in Jesus' name, amen."